Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Groundhog 2.0 (and a half) Warning Graphic Content - NSFW - Guest Post from the indomitable Juan Mario Agudelo Mallarino

It seems the groundhog wasn't the only creature making an appearance last week.  Just a few thousand miles from Punxsutawney, enfant terrible, Rick Owens, was presenting his 2015 Fall/Winter collection in Paris.  While many applauded his bold lines and powerful use of muted colors, others took notice of one particular member of the crew who, quite proudly, flippity-flopped his way down the catwalk to the astonishment of the illustrious crowd of gawkers.

Let me first say that, despite the fact that it looks like it was in a crock pot for two weeks, this is a good thing.  Let's open the kimono.  Let's drop the towel.  Let's welcome Mr. John Thompson out from the shadows and place him as the lead in a Dove commercial, with a police sketch artist in tow, presenting perspectives from the owner, and from his lovers (call me SNL).  The descriptive accompanying audio alone would offer loads of entertainment.

Let's liberate today's young men from falling prey to Mastodonic Member Disorder (MMD), an unseemly anxiety disorder promulgated by porn sites and underwear ads (I'm looking at you, Bieber #stuffed) that do nothing but further traumatize the living hell out of boys and young men with perfectly normal gear.....

I mean seriously, you could tie a rope to the ends of some of these things and call yourself a circus act. 


1 comment:

  1. Kids. At least neckline is appropriate.