Friday, March 16, 2012

I love Jessica Simpson!

I love Jessica Simpson.  I can’t name a single song of hers and I only vaguely remember her reality show, but I am now in love with her!  Here’s why.  Jessica is  8 months pregnant and despite being a celebrity, albeit a "D list" celebrity, she is kicking this pregnancy old school.  Have you seen her? 


The words Zoinks, Gadzooks and Yowza were invented for just this occasion! She looks like one of the life rafts on the Titantic, which is to say, she looks just like I did when I was pregnant. 

Contrast with Victoria Beckham pregnant:

That is what I look like at the end of pizza night. 

Jessica is keepin’ it real!  It used to be that one time a woman would get a break from the body scrutiny that is so pervasive in our society was during pregnancy.  Now, we’ve got to make a whole person AND look hot.  For the love of God, they now make a maternity thong. 

So,  while I have a human being standing on my bladder all day, now I’m supposed to walk around with a piece of string up my tuchus.  When I’m that pregnant, I’m not worried about panty lines, I’m worried about my bladder leaking when I sneeze. 

Jessica Simpson is OWNING it.   She’s not going to pilates, hitting the elliptical  and eating kale and steel cut oats.  She’s doing this like a real life American woman.  She is enjoying her meals and reveling in the comfort and ease of  elastic waisted pants.  With all the nonsense going on where celeb moms compete to see who can return to toothpick status after giving birth the quickest, it is refreshing, nay revolutionary, to see a woman in the public eye who says: “Guess what, I’m making a God damned person here.  I’m uncomfortable all day. I can’t even have a cocktail. So I’m not going to obsess about how I look.  I am going to have some doughnuts.” VIVA JESSICA!