Exhibit one in my: Everything That is Wrong With Parenting in America Today Segment.
So, there was a TON of rain the other night and there were more emails than were necessary about whether the Little League Game would be held the next morning. Here’s the email I received from the “team mom” – never a request for a “team dad” but that’s another post:
The 9am game was cancelled but Brant is hopeful we can hold the 11am game if we can get the field ready. Brant has a back injury so he needs grounds crew help from 9am--11am to get the field ready. If you can stay after dropping off your player to help, that would be great and will also help ensure we can play at 11am. I'm not sure of all the details but "raking and field prep" are included.
So, Brant is the “Commissioner” which people totally address him as (again, another blog, another day) but I prefer to call him “The Commish” because I loved that show! By the way, I totally loved Michael Chiklis in that show and had a really hard time buying him as a badass on The Shield because he was so adorable on “the Commish”. I also love the opening of that show, such a lazy kind of bumbling song as we see this doughy, salami loving cop, who just can’t keep track of his pen.
Watch: The Commish opening credits.
They just don’t make tv like they used to.
Back to Little League. Apparently the “Commish” has indeed injured his back to the degree that we received a follow up email from our coach, who is a scientist at NIH, so it must be true.
Brant had an accident yesterday so his back is indeed hurt. Please bring a metal rake if you have one.
Followed by: (subject title “Field workers Needed”)
Yes, please arrive at 10am warm-ups. Those who can stay to help,
Brant needs " rakes/buckets and muscles."
First of all, don’t like the term “field workers” it soo…manual labory. Secondly, they need “rakes/buckets and muscles.” Ummmm, I know the dude hurt his back, but did he also injure his rakes and buckets? Who has buckets lying around the house? AND we have ONE guy down and now we need to marshal the efforts of 15 adults? What is he, Super Commish?
What really stuck in my craw and FINALLY relating back to the topic of this post, is that they expected the parents to get the field ready while the kids practiced. Seriously? Is this what the world has come to? How about the kids (9-12 year old boys) get THEIR OWN field ready? Buttermaker never would have put up with this kind of nonsense. How is this not happening every week? The teams that have the first game get the field ready so THEY can play and enjoy the game. When did I become an employee for my child? I already paid nearly $400 for him to play in this league, how about the kid contributes a little sweat? Its insanity. There is this crazy expectation these days that I’m supposed to follow these two around like Farnsworth Bently followed Diddy (didn’t think I could work a Diddy reference into a parenting blog did you? Well I Diddy.)
So, in protest; because if someone doesn’t say something these people are going to take over the world; I sent this reply to ALL (this group BTW, is the owner and operator of the “I Love Reply All In Every Circumstance” page on Facebook):
Sorry to hear about Brandt. What would really be terrific is if the boys (from both teams) could get their field ready. This way they learn a little responsibility AND they learn how to groom a baseball field. My husband cannot stay, but my son will help.
Yeah, my husband can’t stay to rake the field because HE WORKS LIKE A DOG ALL FREAKING WEEK! The only raking my husband will be doing on the weekend is in the sand trap!
The response was overwhelming! Meaning whatever is quieter than crickets or the sound of one hand clapping.
Anyway, the plot thickens (this portion is typed in Whisper font. The previous portion was typed in Incredulity) So we went to the game and I’m sitting there watching the game and who walks by DRAGGING trash cans full of dirt but..... (excited whisper font) The “Commish” himself! Yes! It was all I could do not to stand up, point my finger and shout "J’ACCUSE!" Instead I took a picture because it lasts longer.
In the end, my son tells me that he offered to help, but the Dads got the field ready so the kids could practice. Guess what folks, (I am typing this in an totally bossy font AND all caps):
IF YOU TREAT YOUR KIDS LIKE THEY ARE THE CENTER OF THE WORLD, THEY WILL ACT LIKE THEY ARE THE CENTER OF THE WORLD. THEY WILL GROW UP TO BE ADULTS WHO THINK THEY ARE THE CENTER OF THE WORLD! PEOPLE LIKE THIS SUCK. DON’T RAISE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!