You know, my mother always said: “One thing a lady should
NEVER get accustomed to is anything in her ass.” I’ve kept this in my mind lo these many years
and I have watched in horror as the thong has only grown in popularity. Every time I hear woman who swears that “my
thong is so so comfortable, I don’t even know it is there” I want to scream at
the top of my lungs: “DON’T YOU SEE, NOW THEY HAVE FOOLED US INTO STICKING
STRINGS UP OUR ASSES!! DON’T FALL FOR IT!!!” Floss your teeth, not your ass!
I have to say, I like panty lines on men and women. Because when I see panty lines I know for a
fact that there are then 4 layers of fabric between my genitalia and theirs,
which is really MY minimum, but I mean in an ideal world we would be talking 6
to 12 layers. Anyway I know there is a whole school of folks who like their
business to be “free” but I am not one of those people. I think everyone should keep that shit seriously locked down. As far as I am concerned here are things that
should be free like kittens, basic health care and cable tv and things that
should not be free like tigers, Bernie Madoff and genitalia.
If there were no men, every day would be Sunday
afternoon. Women wouldn’t wear thongs,
we’d wear sweat pants, Flashdance tops and messy buns. Yes, I know I just described MY everyday
uniform. That is a coincidence but it
does show how evolved I am. In the end
just like the Brazillian waxing, and anal bleaching (YES, ANAL BLEACHING), we
ladies subject ourselves to ridiculous indignities and discomforts for the
pleasure of men and there is simply NO equivalent for them. I think lady parts need a union.
But with more uterus.
Currently crafting the lyrics to our theme song which will be sung to
the tune of Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It”. This will be our flag:
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