CNN was recently talking about Jesus’ brother James. How awful it is to be the
younger brother of Jesus Christ!? I mean honestly! Episode 1 in my series about Jesus’ brother.
(there may or may not be an episode 2)
Mary: (in the
voice of Howard Stern’s mother) :
“JAMES! Your brother Jesus cured a paralyzed man and fed a multitude at Bethesaid the other day with only seven loaves and
fishes! Did you hear that, a MULTITUDE James?! Linda said there were at least 5 thousand
people there and I can’t even get you to take out the trash.”
James:
“First of
all Mom, all my friends call me Jimbo and Jesus doesn’t even have a job! He
just hangs around with those guys, his ‘disciples’ all day.”
Mary:
“Jimbo? For
the love of God! What kind of a name is Jimbo?
No one has ever heard of a Rabbi Jimbo.
And Jesus…….James, he is HEALING people for God’s sake! I know your father would have liked him to
take over the carpentry business but he is healing. Can you imagine? A doctor in the family?”
“As for his ‘disciples’, they are a very nice group of boys.
Well except for that Iscariot boy.
What’s his name? Judas. Yes, I
don’t like that one. He’s shifty. You know I went to high school with his
father, Simon. Oh sure, all the parents
thought he was terrific, but suffice it to say, I am not the only girl from
Nazareth Regional High School Class of ’02 BC who can attest to the fact that
that boy had some fast hands. That’s all I’m saying. He’s no good that one.”
James:
“Its just that
you always act like HE can’t do anything wrong.
He’s all like ‘I’m the son of God. You’re
just the son of Joseph.’ What am I supposed to do?”
Mary:
“What are
YOU supposed to do? I don’t know James, how about you start by getting Bar Mitzvahed? Something simple James. How about that? Jesus did it at 10. Always got one hundreds on all his religious
work. Maybe if you spend less time
betting on those donkey and camel races and more time studying! Well maybe then we would have a doctor AND a
lawyer in the family!? Can you imagine?”
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