Thoughts on Bergdhal video

Just a few thoughts on the Bergdhal rescue video.

 Ok, so the first funny bit is that the US apparently told the folks at the Taliban office in Doha:

"Listen, so we know you are the correct group , we are going to need you to shine a green light. Just so we don't land on the wrong group."

And the folks in Doha were like: "Ahhhh, that could be a bit of a problem because you see, we don't exactly have a green light"

So I'm guessing at that point the US guy was like "Really?  Like there's no one there who even has like a laser pointer in the junk drawer of his desk?"

Taliban:  "Yeah, no.  No lights.  No lasers"

US: "How about one of those little hand crank flashlights?  You know the ones that look like little pandas.  Do you have one of those you could use?"

Taliban: "Hold on.......(muffled receiver, muffled voice) does anyone have a flashlight?  No? It doesn't matter why.  Oh, you have one!?  What? No Achmed, that is a flare, totally different.  Jeeze. I know, I know you are just trying to help but honestly...sigh, go back to your office.  So guys, that's a no on the light?  Ok, I'll tell him. (clear receiver) You still there?"

US:  "Yes"

Taliban: "Yeah, so that's a negative on the light."

US: (audible sigh)  "Ok... do you have a white flag that you might be able to wave?"

Taliban: "Hold on (muffled receiver)  They want a white flag, does anyone have a white flag? I don't know, let me ask.  (clear receiver)  Hi, ummm so does it have to be an official "flag" or no?"

US:  (patiently) "Nope, anything flag like will do. "

Taliban: "Ok then, yes, yes we are good to go with flag"

Here's what they showed up with:

.....basically a scrap of white fabric attached to a stick that I'm fairly certain they literally picked up off the ground right there!  I'm sure that the white flag as a mark of surrender totally went over their head.

Which brings me to the vehicle:

WHAAA?  Its like an Eldorado had sex with a Suziki SUV!  Here's how this went down.

Taliban Leader:  "So we are going to release this guy to the Americans.  I hear there were some issues with the light or flags or something.  Anyway, want you guys to go get ol' Baldo Bergdhal and take him in the van."

Taliban #2: "The van?  Can we take the crazy scribble truck?"

Taliban Leader: "No, take the van.  Its bigger.  Take the nice one though.  The one with wall to wall carpeting and the sound system."

Taliban #2:  (excited and whiny) "I really want to take the crazy scribble truck. Its so cool!  It will show them how cosmopolitan we are. Plus what's the point of having a macked out truck like that if we don't show it to anybody?  C'mon, please?"

Taliban Leader: "I don't know the van just seems to make the most sense.'

Taliban #2: "Oh come on.  It will be great.  When they land we can fling the door open and be all like (official voice) 'Here is your hostage'  It will add a lot of flair.  Come on.  You never let us do anything fun?!!"

Taliban Leader: "Alright, take the truck.  Don't forget the flag."

Taliban #2:  "Woo hoo!  Hey guys he's letting us take the truck. I call shotgun."  

Taliban #2 walks away talking to himself under his breath:

"I have your hostage right HERE!"

"I HAVE your hostage right here!"  

"I have YOUR hostage right here."  

"HERE IS YOUR HOSTAGE! " (whispers) yeah that's it!' (small fist pump to self)

Which finally brings me to the wave.  

"Ok, bye now.  Call us next time you are in Kabul!  We'll do lunch."