I was so glad to hear about the release of Bowe
Bergdhal. Great news! What surprised me though was the news that
there is a Taliban OFFICE in Quatar. An
Office?! It got me thinking what is that office like? Is there a Taliban Michael Scott doppelgänger
with the requisite Dwight Schrute :
“I’m the Assistant Commander of the Faithful”
“No you are the
Assistant TO the Commander of the Faithful”
Do they have office hijinks – like washing someone’s shalwar
(loose pants) in hot water so they shrink?
“Hey Abdul Rahman nice pants! Are you expecting a flood?”
Do they have nicknames for each other. Like is the good looking guy called James
Mujahideen? And the guy who likes to cook. Do they call him Paula Mujahideen? Do
they say things like “Ugh, that guy! He
puts the DULL in Abdullah!”
Do they have an HR department? What’s it like being that guy? Does someone “out” a coworker for being a
secret Demi Lovato fan? And then he’s
all like:
“No, I just clicked
on an ad and the video just popped up. The computer went crazy! I don’t know
what happened?“
What are their email addresses? @taliban.qa
Do they have a twitter?
“Follow us! Taliban@twitter.com. No, literally follow us”
(Actually they do have a twitter and it is pretty f*&%ed
up reading. I will ad that it is not
verified. So its anyone’s guess. http://gawker.com/5801252/the-taliban-joins-twitter)
What are the office holiday parties like? Does everyone bring a casserole to celebrate Eid
al-Fitr? And like everyone knows that Omar
always bring the kebabs and woe to anyone else who tries and of course
there’s the rumor that Ahmed’s third wife is lazy and brings store bought naan
every year. On the upside, I guess no
one gets drunk and hits on the boss’ wife.
Do they have posters like these on the walls of the break
room?
(That Allah, ALWAYS testing you! A real joker that guy.)
Is there a bulletin board in the kitchen with ads and other
stuff:
Sheet with little pull tabs:
“You too can have 72 virgins. Ask
me how!”
If you are the last person to make tea – PLEASE UNPLUG THE TEA POT
Don’t miss the TORTURE AND TEAMBUILDING seminar this
weekend. “Fun, Food and Friendship”
Contact Hafiz in HR to register.
I could go on and on.
I'm really hoping they have potluck dinners and committee meetings to discuss new ways to streamline their kidnapping synergies.
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